2010 Health Care

Customer: I have to say there is no better place to eat than here at McD’s.

McD’s: How can I help you today sir?

Customer: I would like to order a double burger. Make that a meal. You know with fries and a big Coke.

McD’s: (Blows big whistle) Okay you guys! We have another one!

Two big football player sized men come in and place arms on customer.

McD’s: Sir, can you step this way?

Customer: Hey you guys! What are you doing?

McD’s: Pay no attention to those fellows. They are just part of our new national health care force. Please step this way, Sir!

Customer: All I wanted was a meal!

McD’s: I know, Sir. We will get you the meal you need after you step this way.

Customer hesitantly is pulled to back room.

McD’s: Now, Sir, hold your arm out here. We need to take your blood pressure.

Blood pressure so high McD’s man whistles.

McD’s: I gotta tell you Sir. There will be no salt with those fries.

Customer: Hey I am hungry here. What happened to the customer is always right?

McD’s: National Health Care happens! Patience Sir. Just a couple of more measurements and we’ll be through. First, let me put this tape around you. If I can reach around you. What is that? A 37? And you are what- 56 years old?

Customer: I did not come for clothes. I came for a meal.

McD’s: Now you know what the two big guys are for. Settle down. Let’s see. Height is 5’ 10” tall. What was that first measurement? Oh yeah! A whopper! 37 inches. 56 years old.

Looks down at measurements.

McD’s: Your body fat index is 35.9. That may be a record of the day! No way you are getting a double burger and fries. Can we talk diet Coke and maybe a piece of salad?

Customer: I am not sure I like this new national health care.

McD’s: Oh a statement of displeasure with your life? Let me make a quick call on that.

McD’s makes a quick phone call.

McD’s: Okay Sir! I have some good news for you! Since you are over 50 years old and made a statement of displeasure with your life, we are going to give you everything you asked for. Would you like extra salt with those fries?

Customer: I don’t get it.

McD’s: Sir, we are over budget for you already anyway. If you can just step over to the pickup line, we will get your food for you. I do have some good news. The food will be free for you.

Customer: I like free, but I don’t get why.

McD’s: Well I don’t like to say it Sir. This should be between you and your doctor. And, of course, now your fast food server. Anyway, your doctor has prescribed this meal for you. And you can sign right here for getting a meal everyday.

Customer: Everyday?

McD’s: Well, everyday for the rest of your life.

Customer: Wow! Thanks, I think.

McD’s: Here’s your meal, Sir. I threw in a few extra fries and salt with that. Have a nice day.

Customer on his way out muttering to himself, throws meal in garbage and yells at wife:
I am walking home honey! See you in a couple of hours.

McD’s: (to big guys) Hey you guys! I like our new job, don’t you?

Guys: It sure beats working at DMV.

McD’s: For sure. Now we are helping our country with reasonable health care.